Dear Abby-

My world has been flipped upside down, as I am sure you was able to read between the lines. Since my trip to Oregon July 2009 for my 30th Class Reunion (yikes) and also seeing Kaden and Tay. We have had maybe 3 calls from them and every time I called, the grandmother would not answer. Well, the adoption went through, I think in March and she left OR the day after to move to SC. It was still considered an ID adoption as the state of Idaho was supporting them. Anyway, it states in the adoption process you cannot leave the state for 6 months after an adoption. I had emailed her over and over saying I wanted to send some things to the children and needed an address. She would tell me she did not have one. Finally it was after Tay's birthday in March and I told her I wanted to get these things to the kids not only for Tay's birthday but Easter as well. I got an address. I got no response that they got the package except seen pictures on Facebook with the clothes on them I bought. To be honest all I see them in is clothes that I bought. Even the pictures she sent over today. She removed me from her facebook but left it public so all can see pictures. Well a couple I cannot and will not put on there as Kaden had his head shaved and he is the bath tub with one of his cousins and Mike and I believe we are seeing something that we should not be seeing on the Internet let alone our grandson. I have saved the pics to blow them up some to see for sure.

But before all this she emailed me yesterday and told me she does not have to tell me when she receives a box from us and she does not even have to tell the children it is from us. Also, that if I was sending things to make points it was not working so I did not need to keep a tallying score. I have asked to speak to them and she said they do not need turmoil in their lives and that the state took them from us because we were unstable an unsafe environment. Well, if that is so then they would have not only took them but they would have taken their 1/2 brother Brezy, whom we adopted from the state and also my 11 year old son Cole. We were told when they took them that they were not going to allow us to adopt all three because of my RA. It would be too much for me to handle. Well, I had gotten through the tough part 3 babies plus a foster son that came to us at 2, nine months before we got Tay.. So we had 4 in diapers, 2 meth babies, 1 born addicted (Tay) 2 fetal alcohol babies Kaden and Brezden. Our foster son was born with his insides on his outside so he was delicate to take care of. He went home to his birth mom in April 2007. We are still in contact with his bio-mom and have him off and on for a weekend. Brezy lost his brother and sister. He was talking and walking when they left. He quit talking 3 days after they left. Tay was his roll model. Now he has severe issues and on an IEP and attends many therapies and Dev Preschool. Out for the summer but he is in a DT program.

She told me she would never keep us from the children and even if they moved to SC, which she did that we would make arrangements to share them throughout the year and work around their school schedules when need be. Well, she has informed me she does not think it is wise for us to see them as we failed them just like their biological parents and they need parents that have unconditional love for them and we do not have it. So we are not allowed to see them until they are 18. Kaden will be 6 in December and Tay will be 5 in March. That is a bit of a wait.

This finally ate at me and not until my husband broke down and cried last night(which the man does not cry). I said enough is enough and I am going to be heard. I was up until 2 am this morning reading laws and such and in Idaho it states if it is an adoption case all rights for grandparents etc are terminated UNLESS the grandparents had a significant part in the child (ren's) lives.

I am still trying to locate an attorney that works with cases like these and I know they are out there. I think our case goes clear back to when they were all on the Adoption Home Study and we passed and then all of a sudden got one of the three and they separated siblings. Who cares if they had different father's they were altogether since infancy. Kaden came to us at 5 weeks old. Tay once they could no longer flush her system I went with a social worker to the hodpital and took my grandaughter out of my daughters arms. Something the social worker was to do at 3 days old.. Brezden came to us with 2 social workers at our door along with 5 police cars. Guess his bio dad threatened the social workers. He was 3 days old.

Our Governor here in Idaho is a grandfather. He just passed a law on grandparental rights but I have to find out where we stand there. If it is not where we need to stand then I will fight tooth and nail to get this law changed as well. I may not see them until they are 18 but other grandparents may be able to see theirs with me being proactive. There is a grandparents support group but these ones are raising their grandchildren.

Abby, I am not asking for the children back and I do believe that is what the grandmother is afraid of. I just want to be Gamma. She dislikes it that Tay still calls me Mama but that is what I was to them. All foster kids called me Mama or Mama Gee. Mike was always Papa.

I will never get a chance to hug them, hold them, read them a book or watch a movie and pop popcorn with them. Or most of all fix Tay's hair as she was always our Princess Taylor. Kaden was Mike's Little Warrior. Kaden has aspbergers and they are ignoring it. Tay likes all medications. Does not matter what kind they are. (due to the meth addiction). I have a mother dying soon of lung cancer and she will not see her great gradbabies again before she passes. THIS IS SO UNFAIR!

She told me we were unstable. Well we stayed in one place with them the whole time with us. They said we were unsafe. Go figure. She has moved 5 times in less than 2 years and also lived where rattlesnakes sat on her back porch by the door. Also Tay was out in the yard and sat on a garden snake and her grandmother laughed about it. So that is safe environment?

I am hot right now and I not only want to see rights changed for Mike and I and Brezy too but also for all the grandparents out there that deserve to see their grandchildren. I can understand if it is high risk for endangerment just like how it goes with some marriages that end in divorce and it is not best for the children to see their father or mother.

I did not expect to get the support I have received through emails and facebook. I am not looking for a "Poor Glenda" drama. I am looking for ones that will stand up with me and fight not only the judicial system that has caused so much pain but also the people in the children's life that really are doing more harm than good.

I also look at the fact that the children are loved there and they are doing well. I praise her for that but still they are also my grandchildren and I should be able to be apart of their lives.

Well, I hope you can understand what I have written. I am a bit on the rumble right now. I am open to any suggestions. I will be calling around for attorneys that are not afraid to take on any visitation rights for the grandparents. Might take me a few hours to find one. I know I will.

Keep us in prayer. I feel sad for my husband. I have seen him cry maybe 3 times in 15 years. I have two boxes full of pictures of the babies and many cd's. I am a grandma unstable and unsafe???Yeah right! I think someone is scared and overly jealous.

Thank you for your support,

I am going to see where I get with an attorney and if nowhere I am going to write the Govenor and if no place with him then I will sit on his doorstep and I will let him know I will go to congress and I will go to the President of USA. Mike had planned on buying me a new vehicle this coming March but I see where the spare change will go. I will not stop until I get visitation rights, calls etc from my precious grandbabies.

On a happy note. Crystal their bio mom lives in OH and has been raising Brezden's full sister Jennaca. She is 2. Anyway. Crystal is due in September and has decided to let me name the baby girl she will be having. I have decided on Samari Raine. Crystal liked it very much.

Blessings with love,
Glenda




This is a cry for help. If any of my readers are of the Attorney niche, and can help, pro bono, please contact me at abigaillurae@live.com I will gladly relay any and all information.