Dancing by Myself

My name is Tauheedah and my comments are thoughts and excerpts from my book Dancing By Myself. Before I begin posting from my book, I would like to share my thoughts on some of the effects that Domestic Violence and Child Abuse have on adults who suffered these abuses when they were children. I have 9 children who have all suffered from DV/CA in some form. I was 14 when I gave birth to my first son, then I married the same type of dominant, aggressive, abusive men 3 times. Hence a boy and girl twins out of my first marriage, 3 sons out of the second and then 2 more sons and my second daughter out of the last marriage.
My oldest daughter and I were both abused and raped by my 3rd ex-husband (her stepfather) while some of my older sons were sodomised and tortured by him. The 3 youngest children were his; so they escaped the physical beatings he gave to my other children. By the time my oldest child was 16 I sent him to Illinois to live with his biological dad after a big argument caused the two of them to jump in each other's face. I knew my 16 year old would try to fight him but would not win against a grown assed, violent man. His father stepped up to the plate and took him in. Our youngest daughter was only 1 & 1/2 years old when her sister (14 at the time) discovered him fondling the baby through her diaper! She panicked and made plans to run away with the baby to "spare" her the abuse that she was sure was to come, now.
Well, all hell broke loose when we finally went before a judge ( over a year later as I plotted our escape) and I found out all the damage that had been done to my kids while I was at work. The beatings with rods, coat hangers, shoes, pots, belt buckles and other items he used to declare himself the King.
Today my children are thriving in their own rights. They suffer from a variety of problems such as PTSS, severe mental illness, depression, anxiety, ADHD, anger and obesity issues. Some of them have accepted help and live pretty good lives while two of them have been incarcerated in prison for anger and assault. I have one son still in prison serving time for assault and battery and ironically he was the one who suffered the severest beatings and misuse by his stepfather. He is SMI, ADHD, PTSS and anger ridden while needing medical help for his disabilities wherein jail will not improve his conditions; only allowing me to know where he is residing at instead of worrying that he 's lying in a gutter hurt or dead somewhere on the street.
I will begin to blog about our story soon... Thanks for caring.