"You've Made Your Bed..."

Our fight against Domestic Violence is a long and hard struggle for all concerned. Whether it be violence against women, violence against men, or violence against children, it's all WRONG! Beating on someone just to show who's the biggest and baddest or mentally tormenting, verbally assaulting, or emotionally destroying another person while being in the driver's seat of controlling someone- that too, is also, so very, very WRONG!

The worst kind of abuse I have discovered, (even since leaving my abuser many years ago,) is the encounter of others whom have had such a closed mind, superior attitude and the stamina of something my grandmother always said, "you made your bed, now you just lie in it!" They either lack the ability of understanding or just plainly refuse to acknowledge something like this issue occurs. Along those same lines, others have questioned and told me, "sure! You may have come from an abusive past, now why in the hell, don't you just let it go? Why is it necessary to continually talk about it? If it were me, I wouldn't be proud to let anyone else know what I have been through..." These very same people have called me, "a stupid bitch," or at worst, and in the same breath have said, "you must seek pleasure in what your ex had done to you and miss it! You miss getting beat on, don't you?"

My reply to this is, "I'm here on this earth to help others, whether it be by what had happened to me, or why I was allowed to go through what I went through. I'm not proud of what happened to me! In all actuality, I envy those who had a wonderful childhood and a loving relationship for many, many years. God gave me the privilege of having the loving relationship now, so I understand this aspect. I'm NOT a stupid bitch and hell no! I don't miss being beat on!" Then I've asked, "what is your problem?"

Truthfully, I could never get a straight answer from these people other than, "well, if I heard someone talking about something like this, I'd tell them to get over it and get over themselves! You really need to stop being an advocate- it's shameful!! I thought you were better than this!!!"

*Sigh* Such are the thoughts and opinions of the closed minded people- the ones where I have seen their abusive need to control, dominate, and persecute those who don't share their opinions. To me, they are the worst kind of abusers, especially when they put us down, the ones who have been there, done that and just want to help the many, upon many victims... Who knows and who's to say, maybe they had some sort of abuse occur in their lives also?

I know, personally, it bothers me when all I do is say what I stand up for and who I will fight for- then these small minded people try to cut me down for what I believe in.   I want to make a change- a difference. I fight for the victims- I want to educate adults and educate children to help stop this vicious cycle. It needs to stop- it has to STOP! Maybe once it does, we all, plus our future generations could live in peace and harmony instead of waiting for the world to end...

I have many more thoughts, but for right now- and I'm not one to call anyone names, but, these jerks need to be educated, and learn, (not chew the paper then spit it out,) also they need to grow the hell up!!! -Abby