This is a short story of someone I know and highly respect. Her attitude is amazing, even with everything she's been through. I've changed her name, to protect her identity. This is a very important subject and one, I think, society should look at in a different light.
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Mandy had been married for a few years to a man who had put the fear of God into her after their first year together. She started drinking with her husband, mostly because he threatened to harm her if she didn't drink with him, and she was tired of being his punching bag. Eventually, she drank by herself, just to escape and, if he beat on her- at least, it didn't hurt as much- until the next day, that is...
She was afraid to leave him, but she was more afraid for her life if she stayed. During the times of trying to figure out which way to go as far as trying to get away from him, she endured many bruises, bloodied lips and black eyes. Eventually, she was hospitalized because he broke her arm and a few of her ribs. She had to lie to the doctor because she knew if she told the truth, she would be hurt worse the next time, (he was sitting right there, acting like the devoted husband whom was filled with sympathetic concern.) She didn't have anyone to turn to as her friends, were his friends. What one of them knew, he would know also. She was afraid to turn to her sister for help because her sister was, and still is, a victim of domestic violence. He continued to make her drink with him, and he also made her be the one to drive their vehicle, simply- because, he was too drunk to drive!
Mandy ended up with a couple of DUI's, (Driving Under the Influence,) along with Public Intoxication, and she landed in jail. He, of course, got a ride home in either a police cruiser, (depending on which cop was on duty,) or a friend was called, and the officer waited with him until his friend showed up to take him home. He never bailed his wife out of jail and he never went to court with her over these charges.
After these couple of times of spending time in jail, Mandy summed up the courage to leave him once she was released and never looked back, but her record is now blemished for quite some time ahead of her.
She's been trying to get a good and decent job, one with benefits of medical, dental, and vision insurance along with better pay. With the places she's applied to, background checks and, "pee tests," are required. She always aces the pee tests, but when it comes to the background check, and since she's had the DUI's and Public Intoxication charges, guilty judgments- well, gainful employment is just a dream for her. She no longer drinks, and hasn't for quite some time now. She's still being courageous with not going back to her, now ex-husband, even though, she still has to watch her back. She has come so very far in her struggle to make a better life for herself.
Not only was she victimized by the one who promised to love and cherish her, but she is currently being victimized by society and their back ground checks.
On a final note- before she has applied to these various places, she has explained to them what might come up on their check and why. They tell her to go ahead and fill out her application. Needless to say, she's never hired...
Mandy is a survivor however- she works at a minimal wage place and accepts what is dealt out to her. She says, "I'm a patient person and I have patience beyond expectation. Eventually, things will get better for me."
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